Reviews and Editing by R. Allen Leider
with CJ Henderson, Andrew Johnson and Monis Rose

September 10th , 2010

Reviewed by CJ Henderson

Author Robert E. Howard created some of the most memorable figures in American literature. Many of you won’t recognize any of their names outside of Conan, and please, if all you know about this character is what was to be found in the two movies made about him (or the even more pedestrian animated series), don’t blame the author. Howard’s fiction was some of the most exciting, lightning-charged, dynamic work ever created. His stories rang with blood and violence, were filled with combat, monsters and war. They were not, however, merely action/adventure hokum. Howard told stories with depth and feeling, with an understanding of what it means to be a warrior. Attempts to bring his work to the screen have failed as utterly as have been the attempts to bring the work of his contemporary, H.P. Lovecraft, to the screen as well. Both crafted prose beyond the grasp of most filmmakers. Every once in a while, however, a film comes along that although not written by, or based on the works of, either of these titans, seems a fitting homage to the sense of story they brought to the world. Such has been done for Howard with the creation of the new release, "Centurion." Let me tell you all about it.

The Story: It’s 117 AD. The Roman Empire is the greatest, largest unified civilization in history. Like any great nation, however, it can have its problems. The problem focused on here is in the northern section of Britain. The Roman army has been not only been forced to halt its forward advance of conquest, but it has actually been pushed backward. It is beginning to dawn on those in charge that in the form of the savage and mysterious tribes known as the Picts, Roman may finally have met its match.

Quintus (Michael Fassbender), the sole survivor of one Pictish raid, is discovered and saved by General Titus Virilus (Dominic West), leader of the legendary Ninth Legion. His orders are to march to the north and wipe the Picts from the face of the Earth. Quintus, of course, being a Roman soldier, joins in. The Ninth is being led into the mists of what will one day be known as Scotland by a Pictish tracker, a mute woman known as Aeron (Axelle Carolyn). She is brutal and solitary, but good at her work. She is also a traitor to the Romans, one planted within their service years earlier awaiting just such an opportunity. Aeron leads the legion into a trap where they are slaughtered. When the dust clears, only seven men are left alive. When they realize their beloved general has been taken prisoner by the Picts, they determine to rescue him. And that is where this picture kicks into high gear.

There has not been anything like "Centurion" since "Gladiator." Told with only a fraction of the budget "Gladiator" had to work with, however, it is still a magnificent achievement, stunning to witness. For any fan of barbarian films, action and adventure, war movies, this is the one to see on the big screen this week, and to own as soon as its available. Is everything about this one great? Well, no. But, its flaws are minor when stacked against its triumphs. For instance, its opening credits look as if they were designed to run on a Commodore or Atari system. It also seems as if the day they had a helicopter they shot so much film they decided they had to put each and every second of it on the screen, even when it got a bit monotonous. Still, these are trivial complaints compared with the film’s strengths.

The soundtrack completely pulls the audience into the film. The sets, locations, costumes and props are all wonderfully accurate. Everything looks and feels correct, including even the make-up and hairstyles. The editing, outside of the sometimes endless overhead shots, is spell-binding. The action sequences, violent and bloody, are told in an amazingly effective mixture of traditional choreography and the modern hand-held camera/quick cut blurry mess style used mostly by those who don’t actually know how to stage an action sequence. Bottom line--the fights work. The actors all do a splendid job, but that’s made easier for them by having an unbeatable script with which to work. The story of the Ninth Legion is real, in so far as there really was a Ninth Legion which marched off into the Scottish highlands to defeat the Picts who never returned. After the Ninth vanished, the Romans build Hadrian’s Wall, a massive structure meant to seal them off from the North. This film tries to come up with an explanation for both the disappearance of the legion, and the building of the wall. It succeeds.

Once again, this is one of the best action adventure films ever made. Yes, the characters can fight, but many of them can also think. The plot is filled with brutality and intelligence--two items one can often find in films by themselves, but rarely together. The dialogue is well-written and expertly delivered. Once you get past those somewhat disappointing opening credits, this one is pure entertainment all the way.

One last note: one character not mentioned above is the "witch," Arianne, played by Imogen Poots. Those of you who saw "Chatroom" or "Solitary Man" may remember her. She’s here again, in another scene-stealing performance. This is an up-and-comer for everyone to keep their eyes on.

Our final word: 5 stars out of 5.

The Players: Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, David Morrissey, Noel Clarke

The Filmmakers:
Directed by Neil Marshall
Screenplay by Neil Marshall
Released by Magnet Releasing

Reviewed by CJ Henderson

This scary little bit of film works well with it's reality/documentary format echoing Blair Witch and its ilk. The creepy locations are complimented by a very eerie soundtrack that really gets the goosebumps going.

When he arrives on the rural Louisiana farm of Louis Sweetzer ( Louis Herthum), the Reverend Cotton Marcus ( Patrick Fabian ) expects to perform just another routine “exorcism” on a disturbed religious fanatic. An earnest fundamentalist, Sweetzer has contacted the charismatic preacher as a last resort, certain his teenage daughter Nell (Ashley Bell ) is possessed by a demon who must be exorcized before their terrifying ordeal ends in unimaginable tragedy. Now, in the reality footage, Marcus has given his biography as a child preacher, trained by his father and admits he doesn't really bellieve in demons, but gives the people who pay a good show. In his own words, "I have a family to feed".

Buckling under the weight of his conscience after years of parting desperate believers with their money, Cotton and his film crew plan to film a confessionary documentary of this, his last exorcism. But upon arriving at the already blood drenched family farm, it is soon clear that nothing could have prepared him for the true evil he encounters there. Farm animals have been disembowled and all three members of the family, Louis, Nell and son Caleb ( Caleb Landry Jones) have serious emotional distrubances credited to the lengthy illness and death of Mrs. Sweetzer. Nell draws really creepy pictures...some of which come true. Caleb alternately is friendly and hostile towards the guests. What is really goingon here?


Now, too late to turn back, Reverend Marcus’ own beliefs are shaken to the core when he and his crew must find a way to save Nell – and themselves – before it is too late.

OK, this works well, better than Blair Witch with one major weakness. I did not know any of the players and all of them do their reality acting very, very well....enter Ashley Bell, a pro with a five year string of TV credits and obviously NOT the real Nell Sweetzer, this catch break the disbelief needed to make this a really 'real' documentary event. Exposed as a scripted event, the film rapidly descends into the realm of Wicker Man.

Enough Said. Go see it.

The Players: Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Iris Bahr, Louis Herthum, Caleb Landry Jones

The Filmmakers:
Directed by Daniel Stamm
Screenplay by Huck Boto and Andrew Gurland
Released by Lionsgate

''The Takers "

Reviewed by CJ Henderson

One of the things we critics have over everyone else is that the studios want us to enjoy ourselves when we see the film. For instance, if we had to pay to see the movie, we might be a touch harsher on this or that aspect. Seeing movies for free makes one feel privileged, above the crowd, removed from the comon rabble. You know ... the people with whom you have to watch movies. But sometimes, sometimes a studio takes a calculated risk. Sometimes, they let the street people inside. Their reasons are understandable. They want the reviewers, so often lost in their thoughts of film criticism and light and dark opposites as metaphors, blahblahblah, to remember for whom it is they made this or that picture in the first place. They want word-of-mouth.

This week, I had the opportunity to see Screen Gems' new release "Takers." I got to see it with a theater mostly filled with rude, scream-at-the-screen, ignorant boors, some of whom brought young children to witness this bloodbath. . The kind of people who bring five years olds to a gangster flick, children who announce how much they enjoy zombie movies when "the mens and womens get eaten" to the delight of the adults who brought them. Who also let said children kick the backs of people’s chairs. People who, when an African-American actor is shown in his underwear and revealed to be well-endowed, laugh and giggle as if they’re all eleven. Yes, a 'fun' evening. But, believe it or not, I am not reviewing the audience. People are what they are. What I’m trying to get across is that this is the audience for whom this picture was made. Thinking people? Not this time. As always, I shall explain.

The Story: Short and sweet. A group of criminals (Idris Elba, Paul Walker, T.I., Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen and Michael Ealy) has the police running in circles. They are absolute genius masterminds, smooth tacticians who can plan split-second timing capers in their sleep. After pulling off their latest heist, they are surprised when 'Ghost' (Tip T.I. Harris) a former member of the gang shows up on their doorstep. He got caught years earlier, took a bullet, went to prison, but never gave his buddies up. Now, he’s back and wants his cut. Not only that, but he has an absolutely fabulous score in mind. If they can pull off the double armored car job he has in mind, it means their biggest take ever. The only problem, it’s time sensitive. The job has to be pulled off in five days. Very little time to plan. But, if they do it, they can quit the business.

Throw into this mix all sorts of other stuff: two cops, Jack Welles ( Matt Dillon) and Eddie Hatcher ( Jay Hernandez) determined to bring this gang down, the fact that the leader of the gang has a sister ( Marianne Jean-Baptiste) who won’t stay in rehab and is threatening to create problems with her very presence, the problem that the girl the fellow who went to prison left behind is now engaged to one of the other thieves, or the fact that Internal Affairs is after one of our two hero cops because they have him on video helpinghimself to mob cash and letting one mobster escape -- Enough. Here’s the truth ... if, like the crowd with whom I saw this picture, you like to see thieves shoot policemen, then this is the picture for you. If you’re the sort of person who laughs at the sight of people being murdered as long as they’re white people... then this is the film for you.

If you like a little common sense and intelligence mixed in, then stay home.

Do understand, the first half of this picture is fairly well done. You’re supposed to like the crooks which include a post Star Wars Hayden Christensen as a punkish robbery planner. You should want to see them get away with things. They’re smart, efficient, intelligent. They don’t hurt anyone. They have lives and loves and they care about each other and those around them. Fine, no problem, even though they are NOT Oceans Eleven/Twelve/whatever by any means. But then, the cracks begin to appear.

As smart as these criminals are supposed to be, they often act and sound like the most brainless of street punks. Why? Because like so many movies, the plot is being written to amuse an ethnic audience, not make sense. One critic told me before the screening that, "It's a black film". For instance, during their first heist, the thieves steal a news helicopter to escape. The police fixate on watching the security cameras in the elevators of the building that is robbed, even though the characters themselves explain that this is clearly an almost impossible way to find the crooks. Well, why not check for known criminals who can fly helicopters? Learning to fly helicopters is extremely hard. Factually, nothing else that flies is harder to pilot than a helicopter. Records are kept of all people trained to do so and the cops know this.

Sadly, the film has this kind of sloppiness throughout. What happens to the sack of four or five million dollars the one thief stashes in the bushes? Who knows? That much paper has weight. What about the cop’s son who is dying? Where will the money come from to save him? Who cares? The cop who is losing his family, will he win them back? Why ask? This is not a movie that was made to do anything but separate semi-intelligent cretins from their money. It goes nowhere, has no real ending, ties up no loose ends. A lot of guns get fired, and a bunch of people die. Oh, and the bad guys smoke a lot of expensive cigars. This film probably delivers more wrong messages to the under 30's than any I've seen in years.

If that’s enough for you, head on out.

Our final word: 2 stars out of 5.

The Players: Matt Dillon, Idris Elba, Tip "T.I." Harris, Chris Brown, Zoe Saladina, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, and Hayden Christensen

The Filmmakers
Directed by: John Leussenhop
Screenplay by: Peter Allen, Gabriel Casseus and John Luessenhop
Released by Screen Gems

Juli Baker (Madeline Carroll) devoutly believes in three things: the sanctity of trees (especially her beloved sycamore), the wholesomeness of the eggs she collects from her backyard flock of chickens, and that someday she will kiss Bryce Loski (Callan McAuliffe). Ever since she saw Bryce's baby blues back in second grade, Juli has been smitten. Unfortunately, Bryce has never felt the same. Frankly, he thinks Juli Baker is a little weird--after all, what kind of freak raises chickens and sits in trees for fun? Then, in eighth grade, everything changes. Bryce begins to see that Juli's unusual interests and pride in her family are, well, kind of cool. And Juli starts to think that maybe Bryce's brilliant blue eyes are as empty as the rest of Bryce seems to be.

After all, what kind of jerk doesn't care about other people's feelings about chickens and trees?

With Flipped, mystery author Wendelin Van Draanen took a break from her Sammy Keyes series, and the result is flipping fantastic. Bryce and Juli's rants and raves about each other ring so true that teen readers will quickly identify with at least one of these hilarious feuding egos, if not both. A perfect introduction to the adolescent war between the sexes.

The Players: Callan McAuliffe, Madeline Carroll, Rebecca DeMornay, John Mahoney, Penelope Ann Miller, and Anthony Edwards

The Filmmakers
Directed by Rob Reiner
Screenplay by Andrew Scheinman based on the novel by Wendelin Van Draanen
Released by Warner Brothers